The Quarantine

Although it's not yet known to be lethal, Randy's condition is potentially harmful and extremely contagious. Randy will have to be treated in a quarantined room to protect himself and the public. Once a person is within viewing distance of Randy, they are putting themselves at risk. The only person who is allowed in the same building as Randy will be his medical physician, who will be equipped with a specially designed personal protection suit developed by NASA scientists to shield him from potential hazard. Randy, like his late father, is a chronic sufferer of argyle socks. They affect his senses, most importantly, his sense of style. There is no clear-cut cure for argyle socks, but results from thereputic treatments indicate that therapy does treat its symptoms.

If you see a person wearing argyle socks, befriend him or her. Find out if they are causal users or chronic abusers. If the latter, let them know that they can get help to let them lead better lives. The worst thing you can do is ignore a potential problem. Do you want the hand of evil to grab a hold of your ankles?

Disclaimer: The preceding fictional story is not against the wearing of argyle socks, of which the author has about three pairs, but is against the obsession of wearing argyle socks for every occasion. Research has shown that wearing argyle socks for inappropriate occasions, such as at gym class and at beach parties, is harmful to one's health as well as others. Thank you for your understanding and support.

Thanks,

-The Upper Ups